- [Narrator] Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sarah. Like most people, Sarah was the hero of her own story. Her heart was true, and she always tried to do the right thing. But Sarah had a weakness. Secretly, she always wondered if she was good enough. Her insecurity made the world a dark and scary place. When anybody criticized Sarah, she always reacted in the same way. First, she was shocked. She couldn't believe that anyone could be so horrible, and attack her when she was just doing her best. After the shock, she got angry. Why did this person want to hurt her? How dare they try to make her feel bad about herself. Finally, she would rationalize and reject the criticism, deciding that the person who said it was a villain with ulterior motives. Sarah was so defensive that she couldn't tell the difference between someone trying to hurt her, and someone trying to help by giving her constructive feedback. She couldn't separate criticism of something she had done from criticism of her as a person. Sarah was stuck. She was incomplete. To become the best she could be, Sarah had to stop seeing monsters everywhere. She had to step back, think about her emotional reactions, and recognize that while they were completely normal, she couldn't let them hold her back. With her emotions under control, Sarah could look at criticism objectively, and decide if it was helpful or not. Some of it really wasn't helpful, and she could still reject it. But when she saw things that were useful and constructive, she accepted the feedback, and moved forward. Next, Sarah had to build up her confidence, and believe in herself enough to ask for help from friends and colleagues. Then she could do some critical self-evaluation, and decide what to do with the feedback to make her even better. Everyone goes through the Sarah process when they get critical feedback. Shock, anger, and rejecting criticism are all natural ways we protect ourselves. But to be the best you can be, you have to recognize and take control of your emotions. Be confident enough to accept feedback, and ask for help. Be brilliant. Be like Sarah. © 2022 Mind Tools by Emerald Works Limited.