- Have you ever forgotten a deadline or failed to prepare properly for a presentation? Perhaps you have a habit of starting projects but never finishing them. These are all signs of self-sabotage. Low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness tend to lie behind this kind of behavior. You might have poor self talk, telling yourself things like, "I don't deserve success," or "I'll probably just fail anyway." This can lead to a vicious cycle of sabotage. In other words, you expect to fail, so that's what happens. But, with practice, you can overcome self-sabotage. First, recognize and accept that you do it. Lots of people self-sabotage and it manifests differently for each person. Are there any specific things that trigger your inner saboteur? Once you understand your triggers, you can begin to dissect and understand the emotions that lead to self-sabotage. What was it that you felt or thought just before things started to go wrong? For example, did you get frustrated with a colleague or feel overwhelmed by a task? As you become aware of these negative thoughts and behaviors, start to challenge them. Counter self-sabotaging thoughts like, "I really messed up. I may as well give up," with more rational, positive ones like, "What can I learn from this?" Finally, develop supporting behaviors that work for you. Break down difficult tasks into more manageable chunks, or try looking at problems from a different angle. When you replace negative thoughts and behaviors with positive ones like this, you'll be well on your way to beating that inner saboteur. If you want to learn more about overcoming self-sabotage, check out our websites at mindtools.com. © 2022 Mind Tools by Emerald Works Limited.