For some, small talk seems easy and effortless. For others, particularly people who suffer from social anxiety or who are more introverted, it can feel like a difficult, even painful experience. But small talk does serve a purpose. Conversations are the building blocks of friendship. They help you to build trust and rapport, and strengthen your relationships, even if they're about simple subjects, such as the weather or last night's TV. They can help you to make a good first impression, and, if the conversation goes really well, may even allow you to secure new business or broaden your professional network. So, let's explore what you can do to improve your small talk. You need to have a sincere interest in getting to know the person you're talking to beyond their profession or work. Be genuine and listen to their responses actively. Demonstrate you're paying attention by maintaining good eye contact, or nodding to show you're fully focused on the conversation. Come prepared. If you are attending an event where you know you'll likely have to engage in some small talk, think up three questions you could ask beforehand. For example, if you're going to a conference, you could ask things like, "What brought you to the conference? "What speaker are you most looking forward to?" Or, "have you seen any exhibits that caught your interest?" You might also want to think up some questions that will help you get to know someone on a more personal level, such as, "Where are you from?" "What job do you do?" Or, "Have you got any plans for the summer this year?" But, avoid asking questions that put people on the spot or that are too personal or political. Instead, stick to popular topics like food, hobbies, or work. Demonstrate that you are approachable by exhibiting positive body language. Stand up straight, maintain eye contact, and use verbal cues to show that you're being attentive. Take notice of the other person's body language, too. Their tone of voice and posture will give you hints as to what's working and what isn't. If you feel like the conversation isn't going great, don't force it. You can't make someone talk to you. But always leave the conversation on a high. Show appreciation by saying something like, "It was interesting to learn "about the project you're working on," or "It was lovely hearing about your vacation." This is also a good time to exchange contact details if, for example, you're talking to a potential client. But don't spend too long over goodbyes, and remember to smile before you move on. Small talk may seem daunting at first, but it can often be the first step toward opening new doors to new clients, customers, jobs, and even friendships. The good news is the more you do it, the easier you'll find it. © 2023 Mind Tools Ltd.