These are the six factors which work in two ways. They predictably diagnose the issue when a leader feels demotivated or struggling or stressed, and they predictably diagnose an issue in a relationship that's not going so well. All the leader has to do is look at these six resilience factors and identify which one is not working, and work on that one. The six resilience factors are, first of all, exercising conscious choice. So consciously choosing how you respond in any interaction. And understanding that how you feel is not a consequence of what's happened, but rather your beliefs or thoughts about what's happened. The second resilience factor is becoming aware of your thinking. So if you have an inner critic, or you simply have an unhelpful succession of thoughts about your situation or a relationship, then be aware of the thinking. See it almost, I use the analogy of Sky News. So when you're watching Sky News, there's a ticker tape that goes along the bottom. That's your thinking, you are not your thinking. You get to choose your thinking. And the third resilience factor is realistic optimism, actually priming yourself for success, priming the members of your team for success. I mean, that fabulous Rosenthal study showed that teachers of pupils in an elementary school who were told that those pupils were on the edge of an intellectual bloom, made more eye contact, set expectations, which were greater for those pupils, gave more specific feedback. In fact, those pupils were no different from any others in the class. But the way that the teachers primed those pupils and how they behaved and how they spoke to them and how they set expectations for them was radically different because of what they believed about the potential of those students. And then the fourth resilience factor is about needs and boundaries. If leaders are finding that they're resentful in any way at all, then it's usually because their needs are not being met. Leaders, for example, who say, "My door's always open, "I'm there for my team," will find that they're constantly interrupted and they ultimately get resentful about that. And that's simply because they're placing their team's needs way above their own needs. Whereas there's always a sweet spot where you're able to balance those needs, but it's about leaders asking for what they need and encouraging members of their team to articulate what they need, and finding that balance. And then resilience factor number five is understanding versus judgment. We so want to operate in the judgment territory because that's clear and that's certain, but the truth is that the judgment territory is not helpful for relationships, understanding territory is. Now 65 percent of the time, we are wrong as leaders when we believe that we know what the motivation for the way in which a team member behaves. So when it comes to being more focused on finding out why, rather than thinking you know why, then that creates remarkable relationships and it also maintains your resilience as a leader. And then finally, resilience factor number six is reaching out. You, as a leader, need to maintain your resilience and you need to have someone that you can go and talk to. Someone you can trust to just share your issues with will help maintain your resilience. The one thing a leader would do is become really well-acquainted with these six resilience factors and use them as a diagnostic tool and a way of solving the particular problem in their own relationship with a member of the team, or any challenges that they have in maintaining their resilience or their grit or their determination in a particular situation. © 2022 Mind Tools by Emerald Works Ltd.